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His idea of treating you to dinner is drunkenly buying you bodega "meat pockets" for .10. He spends ridiculous amounts on tattoos, but can't even buy you a latte.18. He gives you weird compliments like, "You look really good in the mornings..."20. He sends you quotes he Googled by your favorite writer and pretends to understand them.23. No matter what, his problems are always bigger than yours.
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When he tries to drunk serenade you on the guitar, he plays Modest Mouse. He gets really emo when his mom and dad come to visit.36.