Norah vincent self made man dating
Meeting someone is nerve-wracking at the best of times. The last thing you want to know is that the unexpectedly sensitive guy you’ve just met is actually a woman in disguise.
Vincent does fess up here as well, although some of her dates decide to go ahead with her anyway.
Used to being watched as she goes down the street as a woman, she’s struck that men don’t hold her gaze when she’s dressed as a man. Vincent wonders how men learn these unspoken rules of masculinity.
She reads this as some kind of social contract between men: that the gaze is only held to provoke conflict or seduce. She wonders how many other unspoken rules there might be. Now, she could of course just , but Vincent believes that a stranger in a strange land can analyse much more easily than a native.
I would be interested to know how far Vincent’s conclusions are applicable to them. How can I possibly know what they (you) are like alone with other men?
But then there are other questions, and to give her credit Vincent does face up to these in her introduction. At the end of almost every experience, Vincent reveals her true identity to the men she’s socialised with.
How do we internalise society’s expectations of gender?She’s tall; she has a naturally deep voice; and she’s always been a tomboy.