Dating someone with an addiction
When your own boundaries are firmly in place, you protect yourself from being taken down by your loved one’s illness.
There may come a point in the relationship when you need to ask some difficult questions: Why are you attracted to this person?
Is it because of who they are and how they treat you, or do you have a history of being attracted to people you can rescue or fix?
To avoid codependency, enabling and other problematic patterns, you may need to seek counseling of your own.
Before diving into a relationship, find out if your prospective partner is actively using drugs or alcohol, or if they display addictive or compulsive patterns in other areas (e.g., gambling, work, sex, food or spending).
If you care about someone in active addiction, help them into treatment and hold off on turning a friendship into more until they’re grounded in their recovery.
For example, you’ll likely need to avoid drinking or using drugs around your partner.
Left unaddressed, relapse can set in motion a roller coaster of chaotic break-ups and reunification that in the long run only exacerbates the problem.
They may have accrued significant debt, declared bankruptcy or had other financial problems.
They may still be working out legal issues and trying to earn their way back into the lives of family and friends.
No one can tell you when it’s time to call it quits except you.
Dating a recovering addict can be complicated, but most relationships are.If a partner relapses, it can be difficult to know what lines to draw.