I was instantly smitten and the feeling was mutual.Our date lasted 12 hours, then he asked if he could whisk me away for the weekend. After our romantic getaway, we were talking about wedding rings by Monday.Healthy intimate bonding takes time to establish, and I don’t mean time as in a marathon 10-hour long date where you start out with a triple shot of espresso in the morning, and end up blissfully entangled in a heap of 400 thread-count sheets at midnight.The best way to create a healthy foundation for true intimacy is to limit the amount of sexual contact between you and your partner, and to allow time (length of encounter) and space (frequency of encounters) to build gradually.The hallmarks of instant chemistry (be it physical or emotional) include a primal desire to be with that person all the time — or for long swatches of time.Even when you’re not in their presence, your brain is in a beautiful haze of fixation and everyone else gradually disappears into the background. I’m ALL for magical conversations, butterflies in your belly and getting hot under the collar. ) Physical attraction is a wonderful part of dating.
(have sex, say the “L” word, share about a personal struggle, etc.) The thing that all these questions have in common is that they are the markers of a certain stage of intimacy in a relationship.
In order to experience attraction, and not let it ruin our odds of making a good match, we need to understand the three stages of falling in love: infatuation, bonding, and familiarity.
Infatuation is that first rush of excitement you get when you feel chemical attraction to someone new. You don’t really know much about this person, but that is of little importance because your brain automatically fills in the details: they are, it’s also based on the cumulative experiences you’ve share with them (fueling your need for more, more, more!
But make no mistake about it, knowing intimate details and having a healthy intimate connection is not the same thing.
The pacing for sharing intimate details of your life should increase with the number of times you meet up.
Here are 3 tips that will help you have a better and more delectable experience on your journey from first date to great love.